Tayyab Journal / ENG

Anger management - how to avoid conflicts that can reduce your reward for fasting in Ramadan

People are often faced with anger during fasting. Anger can only bring harm: to family, friends, work; but we can learn how to manage anger in order to get closer to Allah.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said that a man asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "Give me guidance. He said: "Do not be angry." The man repeated his request several times, but each time [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] said: "Do not be angry" (Sahih al-Bukhari)

There are also studies that have found that expressing and venting anger is harmful both physically and mentally. To calm anger, experts suggest counting from 10 to 100, but how does our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) teach us?

1. Say: "Auzubillah Minash Shaitan Rajeem". (isti'azah).

Sulayman ibn Surad (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "I was sitting with the Prophet ﷺ when two people started arguing nearby. At the same time, one of them's face became red and his veins bulged. Then the Prophet ﷺ said: "I know the words by saying which he would have averted what he is now experiencing. If he had said: "I turn to Allah ﷻ for protection from the Shaytan" - he would be left with what he is now experiencing.

While you are saying this, you can also do ablution or go for a walk. A change in position can help temper anger:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "If any of you is angry while standing, let him sit down. If his anger goes away, then it is good. Otherwise, let him lie down.

2. Another way of suppressing anger is reframing.

Imagine that you are doing a collective prayer and the person next to you is whispering and making it difficult to pray. Imagine that he is very focused on his prayer and does not notice anything around him.

If the person cuts you off, there is no need to rush to anger him, find an excuse for him, maybe he didn't notice you.

Using all these tips does not mean that you are silencing the problem. No! You are cooling your mind to think about the situation

3. If you are going to express your anger, use the right words at the right time. Is it worth reacting immediately? If something has happened, your anger will not help to bring it back. In that state, neither you nor your opponent will be able to negotiate. Take a pause to let the anger go and replace it with sensible options for dealing with the situation.

So, the next time you get angry, say isti'aza, change your position, and then overthink the situation to better understand what is happening.

Do not let the shaytan take away your reward in this holy month. And may Allah keep everyone safe! Ameen!